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BOOK GROUP QUESTIONS:
I have had many inquiries about Book Group questions and appearances, and have compiled some of the more evocative questions asked to me by interviewers on my book tour, here. If you would like to arrange a Skype or phone Book Group appearance, please contact me at my website. Thanks for all your support. I believe "This Is Not The Story You Think It Is” will make for great Book Group discussions. You can also use these questions on your own, regardless of whether or not you’re in a Book Group. I hope these help.
Q 1: Why do you think the book is called "This Is Not The Story You Think It Is?" What is the story we "think it is?"
Q 2: How do our reactions in life set the tone for how people perceive us? What does the concept of not engaging drama mean to you? How are we more, or less, powerful when we fight or resist what comes at us? How can it be powerful to deliberately choose to not engage drama?
Q 3: What are the destructive thoughts in your mind that you allow in and even court? How would it help you to name that destructive voice and decide to systematically, moment by moment, sometimes breath by breath, exile it? If you were to give those thoughts a name, like Laura’s "evil twin sister Sheila," what would it be?
Q 4: Laura's therapist, and many of the books she was reading, suggests that the end of suffering comes with the end of wanting. "There is a big difference between wanting and creating." (p. 3) What does the difference between wanting and creating mean to you?
Q 5: How could you personally implement the "End of Suffering" lifestyle that Laura Munson espouses? Where is the suffering in your life and how has it become your normal, even in its smallest forms?
Q 6: Why do you think Laura gives the reader and herself the challenge not to take sides at the beginning? Where do we get when we involve ourselves in victim/victor relationships? In reading the book, were you able to take that challenge?
Q 7: After meeting with career failure for so long and measuring her personal happiness on things outside her control, what do you think returning to Italy symbolized for Laura? What are some of the results that you’ve wanted to create in your life, that are achievable and within your control, and yet haven’t granted yourself? Why do we make the choice to deprive ourselves of the dreams that are within our control?
Q 8: Throughout the memoir, the author leaves blanks for readers to fill in with their own thoughts and experiences (unfulfilled dreams, weight issues, etc). What did you fill in the blanks with when she asked, "What’s your Italy?"
Q 9: The author has two young children. Do you think her experience as a mother influenced how she handled the crisis with her husband?
Q 10: Why do you think Laura didn't confide in many friends or family during this time? When is self-preservation a quiet matter and when is it a vocal matter?
Q 11: What is the power that lies in not taking things personally, even when they're meant personally? What words would you tolerate from a loved one? When do words become just words and how is it possible to not give them power, even when they are hurtful?
Q 12: Laura talks about working with the present moment as a life line-- what you can own, control, create, and surrender. What are the ways you could choose to preserve your well-being during a crisis? What does "living in the moment" mean to you? What does "letting go" mean to you?
Q 13: Laura writes that "sometimes happiness is just one small step outside of suffering." How do you define happiness?
Q 14: There are many myths busted in this book. The Happily-ever-after myth. The My career-success defines my self-worth myth. The I'm Golden myth. How do Laura’s experiences over the course of the memoir change the way she looks at these myths? Name some of the myths that you’ve bought into throughout your life.
Q 15: Toward the end of the book, (p. 307) Laura's husband apologizes to her. After this apology, she has an inner tantrum of sorts in which her "evil twin sister Sheila" attacks and says that his apology is not good enough and that she should reject it. Why do you think she doesn't heed that call?
Q 16: She ends that chapter with "We've been happy and unhappy together. It seems important to know how to do both." How can we re-frame our minds to see that crisis, breakdowns, and distance are inherent, normal, and even necessary components of any relationship, namely that with one's self…and that they do not have to threaten our personal well-being? Is happiness really a choice?
Q 17: Laura Munson wrote this memoir as she lived it. How would "This Is Not The Story You Think It Is" be different if Laura had written it long after the events took place?
Q 18: What do you think the central theme is of this book?
“I loved this book. It's unusual, memorable, and wry; laugh-out-loud funny too.”—Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Crazy Love and Mommy Wars
“Let me tell you what this book is about. This is a book about saying yes. It's the story of Laura Munson's alchemical ability to create abundance and bounty in the face of scarcity and abandonment—no small triumph. Munson’s account of the summer her marriage nearly fell apart is filled with gems big and small, from her Italian grandmother's cooking advice (don't stir backwards . . . you don't want to undo the sauce) to her commitment not to suffer. Munson is a wonderful guide-wise, brave, and tenaciously honest.”—MELANIE GIDEON, author of THE SLIPPERY YEAR: A MEDITATION ON HAPPILY EVER AFTER
“It's rare to read a story that is so deeply personal, so fraught with heartache, so nakedly honest, and at the same time infused with such astute wisdom. In a world that is increasingly disposable, plastic, where our self-worth is so often determined by external factors, Laura Munson has served up a whopping portion of sanity. This book has the potential to start a cultural revolution.”—LEIF PETERSON, author of CATHERINE WHEELS and NORMAL LIKE US
“Laura Munson's memoir is a passionate, funny, and painfully honest account of how, in the midst of emotional crisis, one always has a choice between peace and suffering. Soulfully written and full of humor--this is a wise, wonderful book!”—Kirk Farber, Author of Postcards From a Dead Girl
“I cried and laughed so hard through these pages-often at the same time-that I thanked God I was alone in the privacy of my bedroom. Laura Munson is my new heroine. The wisest, most soulful, kick-ass friend any woman who's ever had grenades launched at her self-esteem or her belief in love could ask for. Read every page. To the end. And let it heal you to the bone.”—Linda Sivertsen, author of Lives Charmed and Generation Green
