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The Book.
Excerpt from my New York Times Modern Love essay, "Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear."
“I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did.”
His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, “I don’t buy it.” Because I didn’t.
He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind….I really wanted to fight. To rage. To cry. But I didn’t.
Instead, a shroud of calm enveloped me, and I repeated those words: “I don’t buy it.”
You see, I’d recently committed to a non-negotiable understanding with myself. I’d committed to “The End of Suffering.” I’d…decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. And I mean all of it.
. . .
When Laura Munson’s essay appeared in the Modern Love column of the New York Times, it created a firestorm. Readers sent it to their friends, therapists gave it to their patients, pastors read it to their congregations. People everywhere were struck by Munson’s wisdom. But how was Laura able to implement this strategy? How was she able to commit herself to an “End of Suffering” in such a critical time? At 40 years old, certain parts of Laura’s life were going exactly as planned – she had two wonderful children, a husband she adored, a cherished home. Yet she and her husband, the once golden couple, weren’t so golden anymore. And while Laura had come to peace with her life, her husband had not.
Poignant, wise, and often exceedingly funny, THIS IS NOT THE STORY YOU THINK IT IS recounts Laura’s journey. Shaken to her core after the death of her beloved father, after seeking guidance and solace in stacks of books and hours of therapy, Laura finally realized she had to stop basing her happiness on things outside of her control. And once she had this key piece of wisdom, she realized she could withstand almost anything.
Written as Laura experiences her crises, moment by moment, sometimes breath by breath, THIS IS NOT THE STORY YOU THINK IT IS is raw and searingly honest in the very best sense. Laura takes readers by the hand as they embark, together, on a journey – one in which the outcome is not known. Filled with wisdom, truth, and heart – and a great tomato sauce recipe – it is a candid and incredibly powerful memoir that is unforgettable.
. . .
Advance praise for This Is Not The Story You Think It Is.
"Laura Munson takes the spiritual stuff and the personal stuff and the love stuff and the pain stuff and she brews them all together in a very fun and touching memoir. I'm a fan. This is a wonderful book." —Marianne Williamson, author of THE AGE OF MIRACLES, and A RETURN TO LOVE
"THIS IS NOT THE STORY YOU THINK IT IS is true to its title. The book took me by surprise. I read it in one sitting and loved Munson's tone, wit, wisdom and writing." —Anita Shreve, author of The Pilot's Wife
"This book is fabulous. Laura Munson's noble quest to become the source of her own happiness will take you by the hand and heart as it guides you through the steps to living a life without suffering. Her story pulls back the curtain on the only magic we ever need to know: how to make the shift from fear to love." —Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret
"If there is justice, it will do very, very well. I like this book so much that I don’t want to quote, summarize, interpret—I just hope, if you’re in any kind of relationship, that you’ll get it and read it." —Jesse Kornbluth, The Huffington Post
"Quirky and surprisingly wise." —Vanity Fair
"Munson captures, with deepening poignancy and surprisingly good humor, the practical impossibility of remaining jujitsu-cool—denying anger and self-doubt—when her world appears to be coming apart at the seams.
"
—Elle
"Let me tell you what this book is about. This is a book about saying yes. It's the story of Laura Munson's alchemical ability to create abundance and bounty in the face of scarcity and abandonment—no small triumph. Munson’s account of the summer her marriage nearly fell apart is filled with gems big and small, from her Italian grandmother's cooking advice (don't stir backwards . . . you don't want to undo the sauce) to her commitment not to suffer. Munson is a wonderful guide-wise, brave, and tenaciously honest." —MELANIE GIDEON, author of THE SLIPPERY YEAR: A MEDITATION ON HAPPILY EVER AFTER
"Laura Munson's powerful and buoyant book gives us wisdom in generous slices. But it is Munson's abilities as a storyteller that show us how to discover how to find and feel the real wisdom that may arise from our lives, as messy and heart-breaking as they may be. Woman, wife, mother, neighbor--this fine writer converts her own life's journeys into a series of vignettes so focused and compelling, so heart-breaking, sometimes so funny, that they resound with the force of parables." —DAVID BAKER, POETRY EDITOR OF “THE KENYON REVIEW,” AUTHOR OF NEVER ENDING BIRDS
"I loved this book. It's unusual, memorable, and wry; laugh-out-loud funny too." —Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Crazy Love and Mommy Wars
"It's rare to read a story that is so deeply personal, so fraught with heartache, so nakedly honest, and at the same time infused with such astute wisdom. In a world that is increasingly disposable, plastic, where our self-worth is so often determined by external factors, Laura Munson has served up a whopping portion of sanity. This book has the potential to start a cultural revolution." —LEIF PETERSON, author of CATHERINE WHEELS and NORMAL LIKE US
"With amiability, wit, and a modicum of self-pity, Laura Munson's memoir reminded me of the twenty-one jars of organic tomato sauce she and her children hand-made. A chapter is like a jar lid: if it doesn't pop as the contents cool, the seal is faulty and the sauce is worthless. Exhausted from their all-day effort, mother and kids sipped hot chocolates and listened as twenty-one jars cooled. To their satisfaction, they counted twenty-one distinct pops. In reading this brave memoir I counted about the same." —David James Duncan, author of The Brothers K and God Laughs & Plays
"Laura Munson's memoir is a passionate, funny, and painfully honest account of how, in the midst of emotional crisis, one always has a choice between peace and suffering. Soulfully written and full of humor--this is a wise, wonderful book!" —Kirk Farber, Author of Postcards From a Dead Girl
"I cried and laughed so hard through these pages-often at the same time-that I thanked God I was alone in the privacy of my bedroom. Laura Munson is my new heroine. The wisest, most soulful, kick-ass friend any woman who's ever had grenades launched at her self-esteem or her belief in love could ask for. Read every page. To the end. And let it heal you to the bone." —Linda Sivertsen, author of Lives Charmed and Generation Green
Laura Munson is a writer who lives with her husband and children in Montana. Visit the author at:
- www.lauramunson.wordpress.com
- follow her at: www.twitter.com/Lauramunson
